But Who Leads These Thoughts

Confusion mixed with desire and subtly
A dangerous mix indeed
To fight even after loss, such a noble deed
worthy of whatever scraps that can be found on the floor
Or do quit before an impending loss, ah the mundane question and word
quit, such negativity but with a powerful meaning fitting any context it wishes
Is it so bad to quit if you already know you’ve lost?
Or to trek on the glorious path to places forbidden only to be shut out from its graces and glory?
Isn’t it more wasteful to do such a thing,
Or to continue along a sloping path of distress but you know that if you tried the other you would have to
face the fire head on?
And quite possibly never return the same
Why fight so so hard in return for petty rewards that fails in comparison to your original wishes?
To journey so far, cross every border you've ever known and never reap your enduring desires?

Yet still the small chances hook you, by your mind and soul
Tearing and ripping at every passing wave but still you stay holding on
Why, why? There must be a reason, a divine one at that
But who can assume the word of the Lord, and what he has in store
At least a sign must be given, a small chance at salvation, glory and happiness
Yet nothing,
Why?
I must be fixed or thrown out that is the thesis of life

But who leads these thoughts
Ones that march with certainty and fiery desire,
only to be extinguished by such a fragile chance at salvation

Chances that I can taste so pure,
But so poisonous is this supplement
Running through my veins infecting every inch after inch of my body
Waiting to strike at the perfect moment it slithers
Ay there it is, A twist, a twist of reality that leaves my soul carved
Exhausted, waiting for life to quench these empty holes

Again, it leaves, maybe to come back another time?
To once again shatter everything I have thought of,
the perfect salvation
Or does it finally leave this god-forsaken body and attach its self to another victim
Tis not happened yet, it always, always seems to return as strong as ever

written by Brett Leslie